Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, scratching my legs soared by mosquito bites after siting for hours by the bushes, thinking hard what I could do to.
I am a person, a living being who is someones hero, someones inspiration, someones fantasy and maybe someones deep desire too. And yet to you I meant nothing. I did everything possible to earn slightest of feelings in your heart for myself. Spent every single moment of my day thinking about YOU. Trying to find meanings in your words which could bring me some hope, even slightest of it! I don’t recall putting such a tremendous effort in anything other then trying to find hidden meanings in your looks and smiles. Just making myself happy with that.
I told you my life is a train-wreck, stacked with grief, pain, sorrows and tragedies. Hope sparkled my eyes when I saw you, and like a mad kid built a castle of hopes and desires with the grains of sand that runs my time glass. In my entire life, all of it..I HAVE NEVER FELT SO MAGICAL. You evoked my heart to joy, to dreams and desires and like a kid I came running after you, saving not a single word to express how I feel, and yet I saw that how stupid I looked. That you reminded me I was nothing but a fool who believes in childish fantasies.
It was all a mirage, an illusion. You gave me nothing, absolutely nothing. In my heart I always knew the pain I was feeding my heart to, even the pain might have wept when it squeezed my heart, but not you. I told you I had to leave, and looked desperately for slightest mercy in your eyes, but all I saw was a dark cave with no end. I even thought of begging for love!
There you go zig-zagging the road with the tracks of your bike, naive to the world you have torn apart, leaving a scar of another tragedy. Reminding the world that love is nothing but pain, and lovers are nothing but fools!
There I was, right infront of you, looking straight in your eyes, trying to find love, affection and concern. Trying to memorize every contour, every feature of your face, freezing your image in my mind till the time I see you again.
And now here I am looking at the screen blurred by my wet eyes, learning every possible meaning of APATHY!